Euromyths A-Z index
A-Z Index of Euromyths 1992 to 2011
A
Abattoirs – EC hygiene rules force closure of abattoirs, Nov 1992
Abattoirs – Local meat products under threat from new EC Health Directives, Jan 1993
Acres – Acres are outlawed by Brussels, Jul 2008
Aga – New EU sulphur rules will cause problems with oil-fired Aga’s, Dec 2009
A-levels – EU to phase out A-levels for EU style diplomas, Jan 2000
Acorns – EU to prevent the sale of English oak seeds, Nov 1994
Advertising, sex discrimination – EU to ban advertising for same-sex flats, Sep 2004
Advertising, sweets and toys – Swedish Presidency will force a ban on sweet and toy ads, Feb 1999
Agriculture, set-aside – Farmers to be encouraged to mow land early resulting in “massacre” of game, May 1993
Agriculture, subsidies and fraud – CAP spending and fraud out of control, Aug 1993
Aircraft, low flying jets – MOD to be forced to pay compensation for military jet noise pollution, Dec 1995
Alcohol sales – EU ‘bans boozing’, Feb 2005
Ale, name – Light ale to be forced to change its name, May 2005
Ambulances – False alarm over 999 calls, Dec 2006
Ambulances – Ambulances turn yellow for Europe, Mar 2002
Ambulances, St Johns – EU to force St Johns Ambulances to replace its entire fleet, Apr 2002
America - Let’s quit the EU and link up with America, Oct 1998
Animals, use of human medicines – Human medicines to be forbidden for use on animals, Feb/Mar 1995
Anthem, European – Europeans to find themselves singing about “the motherland”, Feb 2004
Apples, Apple orchards – British apple orchards to lose out to over productive continental farms, Mar 1995
Apples, Danish – EC regulations forbid the marketing of Ingrid Marie apple, Nov 1992
Apples, standards – Quality standards ban curved cucumbers and certain apples, Jun 1993
Aristocrats, and wine labels – EC to register aristocrats to check for improper labelling of wine, Oct 1993
Army vehicles – Army to be forced to upgrade trailers in line with EU Directive, Jun 2005
Asylum laws – Misunderstanding between EU and UN asylum laws, Feb 2000
Aviation – ‘Open Skies’ treaty threatens fight agains global warming, Feb 2006
B
Baby rattles – EC to ban noisy toys, Jan 1996
Bagpipes – EU safety directives to ban playgrounds, trapeze artists and bagpipes, Aug 2005
Bagpipes, noise levels - Bagpipes to be quietened by an edict from Brussels, Apr 2008
Balloons – EU bans children from blowing up balloons, Oct 2011
Bananas – Curved or small bananas to be banned by Brussels, Sep 1994
Bananas - Curved bananas, Mar 1998
Bank accounts, ID requirements when opening – Children to be prevented from opening bank accounts due to ID laws, Apr 1995
Barmaids – EU health directive to prevent barmaids from showing cleavage, Nov 2005
Barometers – Preassure rises on Britain’s barometer makers, Mar 2006
Barrister’s wigs – Traditional barrister’s wig to be scrapped, Apr 2002
Bed & Breakfasts, dogs in – Rules on whether dogs may be allowed in B&B kitchens or not, Mar 2006
Beer, ale - Light ale gets a name change, May 2005
Bells, church – EU law bans church bells, Oct 2002
Binge drinking – EU wants binge tax on our beer, Feb 2006
Bingo, phrases used – EU wants to ban bingo callers from using phrases like “two fat ladies”, Dec 2009
Black boxes – EU wants one in every car, Nov 2009
Buy one, get one free – 2-for-1 bargains to be banned, Sep 1999
Bombay mix – Bombay mix to be renamed Mumbai mix, Jul 2006
Bones – Butchers cannot give a dog a bone, May 2004
Books, standardisation of prices – Britain’s book export trade to be damaged by new price standardisations, May 1993
Books, VAT – UK government forced to abolish zero rate VAT on books and newspapers, Mar 1993
Booze – EU ‘bans boozing’, Feb 2005
Bottles and squeeze tubes, food outlets – Condiments must be offered in sachets, Apr 1993
Brandy butter – Traditional brandy butter to be banned, Jun 1998
Bread, size – British loaf of bread under threat from EU, Oct 1997
Breakfast, fry-ups – Traditional trucker’s fry-ups to be banned, Sep 2001
Broadcasting, licence fees – EC planning to ban license fees as “state aids”, Sep 1994
Buildings, indoor air pollution research – EU trying to quantify smell of British workers, Sep 1996
Bull bars – EU halting British move to ban bull bars, Apr 1995
Bulldogs – EU seeks to outlaw 60 dog breeds, Jul 1995
Bus drivers – Driven crazy by barmy bus driver Brussels ruling, Jan 1999
Buses, double-decker – EU safety rules will dispose of London double-decker, Jan 1995
Buses, double-decker - Double-decker buses to be banned, Apr 1998
Buses, journeys – Passengers to pay a second fare for journeys over 30 miles, Jan 1999
Buses, passengers on ‘closed door tours’ – EC regulations forbid the carrying of British passengers, Nov 1992
Buses, seat belts – Britain powerless to introduce new seat belt laws without backing from the EC, Nov 1993
Butchers (see also Meat products) – EC closes butchers shops, Nov 1992
C
Cakes – EU bans eating competition cakes, Aug 2008
Cannons – 21-gun salutes to be muffled, Mar 2006
Car boot sales - Brussels threatens charity shops and car boot sales, Oct 2000
Cars, vintage - Vintage cars to be forcibly removed from the road, Jun 1999
Cars, washing – EC to demand petrol interceptors in drains or ban car washing, Nov 1993
Casinos, ID requirements – ID required at casinos, Apr 1995
Census – EU asks women about their sex lives, Nov 2007
Chalet girls – Chalet girls to face extinction from foreign employment directive, Nov 1994
Charity shops – Brussels threatens charity shops and car boot sales, Oct 2000
Charity shops, toys – Charity shops banned from selling second hand toys, Nov 1992
Cheese, British – British cheese face extinction, May 1999
Cheese, Caerphilly - Caerphilly cheese production halted due to EU rules, Apr 1995
Cheese, listeria in – EC rules on levels of listeria threaten British cheeses, Feb 1995
Cheese, serving temperature – EC moves to ban Ploughman’s sandwiches with new cheese temperature regulations, Jun 1993
Cheese, soft cheese – Milk-based product directive to outlaw soft cheeses, Nov 1992
Child labour – EU meddlers ban kids on milk rounds, Aug 1998
Chinese toys – Chinese toy imports are to be banned unless humanlike in form, Jul 1994
Chips, prices – Potato prices set to soar due to bad crop and EU rules, Jan 1995
Chocolate – Chocolote or ‘vegelate’, Apr 1998
Christmas, costumes – Mother Christmas outfits are the result of sex discrimination laws, Oct 2001
Christmas puddings, Royal Navy – EU bans wooden oars for stirring the Christmas Pudding, Nov 1992
Christmas trees – EC to promote standardised Christmas trees, Nov 1992
Church, bells – Village church bells silenced by EU, Oct 2002
Church, VAT – EU to may churches pay full VAT, Sep 2003
Cigars, health warning and pub sales – Sales of cigars to fall due to be sold individually with a health warning, Jan 1994
Circuses – Circus performers required to wear hard hats, Jul 2003
Circuses – EU safety directives to ban playgrounds, trapeze artists and bagpipes, Aug 2005
Climbers, height – Mountains must display height warning signs for climbers, Mar 2004
Climbers, safety wedges – Brussels bans climbers’ safety wedges, Feb 1995
Climbers, safety wedges – Brussels to take the fun out of climbing, Jul 1995
Clothing, designer – UK supermarkets banned from issuing sales on designer clothes, Aug 1998
Clothing, kilts – Kilts to be classified as women’s wear, November 2003
Clothing, women’s sizes - Women’s clothes sizes to get bigger due to standardisation, April 2002
Clothing, zips – EU plans to ban zipper trousers, May 1999
Clotted cream – Cornish clotted cream to be made in Brittany, Mar 1998
Coaches, seat belts - Britain powerless to introduce new seat belt laws without backing from the EC, Nov 1993
Coaches, to replace buses – EU safety rules will dispose of London double-decker, Jan 1995
Cockles – Scores of foreign boats to invade Essex coast – Nov 1992
Cockles – Cockle traders to be forced to buy expensive steaming equipment, Feb 1993
Cod – Cod no longer to be called cod thanks to EU, Sep 2001
Coffins – EC to standardise coffins sizes, Feb 1993
Combine harvesters – “Ludicrous” EU regulation bans using combine harvesters in the wet, Oct 2008
Commission, building - EC to build £900 million tower for staff, Mar 1993
Commission, hot-air balloons – Commission wasting hundreds of thousands on hot-air balloons, Nov 1992
Commission, library – EC library to cost £2,138 for every book borrowed, Feb 2005
Commission, pensions – EU staff retire early with huge pensions, Aug 2005
Commission, staff pay and tax – EC employees are over-paid and do not pay tax, Mar 1993
Common Agricultural Policy (CAP) - CAP spending and fraud out of control, Aug 1993
Common Fisheries Policy – Common Fisheries Policy is illegal under British law, Jan 1993
Competition prizes – Plan to cap prizes, Mar 2003
Condiments – Condiments must be offered in sachets, Apr 1993
Condoms – Condom dimensions to be harmonised, Mar 2000
Condoms, for fishermen – Fishing boats obliged to carry condoms, Nov 1992
Condoms, testing of – EU to push for standard condom size, Oct 1994
Consumer protection, dangerous products – UK to be invaded by poor quality products, Jan 1993
Copyright – EU vote could curb taping of music and TV programmes , Feb 1999
Copyright, video recordings – Copyright Tax to be levied on all home VCR recordings, Mar 2000
Corgis – Corgis to be banned by EU, Apr 2002
Corporal punishment – EU Court may ban smacking, Jun 1998
Corpses – EU plans to liquify corpses and pour them down the drain, July 2010
Cosmetics and personal care products – Row over Latin labels, May 1999
Cotton – EU plans for cotton duty ‘will cost jobs’, Jun 1998
Cricket teas – Traditional cricket teas will be subjected to random hygiene checks, Apr 1993
Crisps, prawn cocktail – EC to ban prawn cocktail crisps, Jan 1993
Crisps, smoky bacon – Smoky bacon crisps to be banned, May 2003
Cucumbers – EC to ban curved cucumbers, May 1993
Cucumbers – Cucumbers must be straight, Mar 1998
Cucumbers – Quality standards ban curved cucumbers and certain apples, Jun 1993
Curriculum – Brussels to develop Europe-wide school curriculum, Aug 2000
Curriculum Vitae (CV) - Euro CV to create more discrimination, Feb 2002
D
Darts, to be banned in pubs – Commission plans to outlaws darts in pubs, Jun 1993
Data protection, and journalism – Data protection laws to “kill-off” investigative journalism, Oct 1993
Dentistry – EU outlaws teeth whitening products, Feb 2003
Designer goods – On Sale: The designer bargains Brussels banned, Aug 1998
Devolution – Devolution is an EU scam, Dec 1998
Diplomatic immunity – EU workers immune from law, Mar 2005
DIY – EU rules ban the DIY electricians, Nov 2004
Doctors and GPs, training – Hundreds of GPs to be forced to acquire additional qualifications, Sep 1994
Doctors and GPs, working hours – 58 hour working week will ground hospitals to a halt, Aug 2004
Doctors and GPs, working hours – UK doctors unable to treat off shore patients at night, Feb 1999
Dogs, breeding – EU seeks to outlaw 60 dog breeds, Jul 1995
Dogs, breeding – Queen’s corgis to be outlawed, Apr 2002
Dogs, dog bones – Giving a dog a bone is to be banned, May 2004
Domain names – All “.co.uk” domain names to replaced with “.eu”, Feb 2000
Double-decker buses – EU safety rules will dispose of London double-decker, Jan 1995
Double-decker buses – Double-decker buses to be banned, Apr 1998
Drink-driving limits – EU to cut drink-driving limits, Jan 2001
Driving licences, HGV drivers – HGV drivers not permitted to wear glasses, Feb 1996
Dumping, fridges – EU environmental plans lead to thousands of dumped fridges, Nov 2004
E
Economat – Officials shop tax-free in exclusive Brussels supermarket, Sep 1999
Eggs – New eggs cannot be called eggs, Aug 2000
Eggs, sold by the dozen - EU plans to ban the sale of eggs by the dozen, Jun 2010
Eggs – EU orders eggs to be stamped with home address, Feb 2003
Elections – EU may force UK to give criminals vote, Feb 2006
Electrical goods, voltage - EU voltage harmonisation plan threatens British appliances, Feb 1995
Electric blankets - Regulators to set maximum heat of electric blankets, leaving pensioners cold, Oct 1993
Electric plugs – UK to be forced to adopt continental two pin plug, Jun 1994
E-mark – 999 services safe from EU interference, Oct 2001
Emergency number – Britain to phase out 999 emergency number, Jan 2000
English Channel – English Channel to be re-named ‘Anglo-French Pond’, Apr 2010
Environment – ‘Open Skies’ treaty threatens fight agains global warming, Feb 2006
EU cost – Britain’s payments to Brussels rises by £500m, Aug 2009
Euro see Single Currency
European Rapid Reaction Force – EU launches its own army, Nov 2000
Exams – EU to scrap British exams, Jan 2000
Excavated earth – Excavated earth to become waste, March 1995
Eye tests, for HGV drivers – HGV drivers not permitted to wear glasses, February 1996
F
Farms, toys – Farmers forced to issue pigs with toys, Jan 2003
Farms, tractors – Tractors to be banned from soggy fields, Jan 2005
Firearms, sale of – Britain to be flooded with cheap weapons thanks to the single market, Jan 1993
Fire doors, required when working from home – Self-employed home-workers must equip their houses with fire doors, Jun 1993
Fire exit signs – Running battle over fire exit rules, Dec 1998
Firemen, fireman’s pole – Fireman’s pole to be axed by European law, Jun 2002
Firemen, uniforms – New uniforms for firemen, Nov 1992
Fire protection, furniture – Will the single market ban foam-filled furniture?, Jan 1993
Fireworks – EC to weaken firework safety standards, Oct 1993
Fisheries, Common Fisheries Policy – Common Fisheries Policy is illegal under British law, Jan 1993
Fishermen, hairnets – Commission to force fishermen to wear hair-nets, Oct 1992
Fishing boats, condom supplies – Fishing boats obliged to carry condoms, Nov 1992
Fishing boats, medical kits – Small inshore fishing boats to be forced to carry extensive medical kits, Dec 1994
Fishing boats, secret holds and quotas – UK fish quota being stolen aided by “conspicuous” lack of inspectors, Jul 1993
Fish, labelling – EU to force retailers to call fish by their Latin names, Sep 2001
Fish processing, smells – EC Directive orders “fishy smell” to be contained, Jan 1994
Food, ingredients – Home-made cakes must be labelled with all ingredients, Jul 2004
Food, ingredients - Women’s Institute home-made produce requires full list of ingredients, Jun 2005
Food hygiene, cricket teas – Traditional cricket teas will be subjected to random hygiene checks, Apr 1993
Food, meat – Local meat products under threat from new EC Health Directives, Jan 1993
Food, rare meat in restaurants – Rare meat to be banned due to “too much bacteria”, Sep 1993
Food, street vendors – Street vendors face closure due to an EC food hygiene Directive, Nov 1992
Food products, tin cans – Queries over tin can standardisation, Mar 1993
Foodstuffs, colours for – Commission outlaws dyes which give haddocks their distinctive golden hue, Jan 1993
Foodstuffs, condiments in sachets – Condiments must be offered in sachets, Apr 1993
Food supplements – EC to stop UK citizens taking extra strong multi-vitamin pills, Feb 1993
Food waste, for swans, charities etc. – Feeding swans and homeless people to require license, Feb 1994
Football matches, noise – Noise regulations to require club, pub and football goers to wear earplugs, Mar 2002
Fridges, dumping – EU environmental plans lead to thousands of dumped fridges, Nov 2004
Fruit and vegetables (see also Apples; Bananas; Cucumbers; Leeks; Mushy peas; Nectarines; Peaches; Rhubarb; Strawberries), quality standards – Quality standards ban curved cucumbers and certain apples, Jun 1993
Funerals – Traditional Irish funerals under threat, Apr 2006
Furniture, foam-filled (fire protection) - Will the single market ban foam-filled furniture?, Jan 1993
G
Gambling venues, ID requirements – ID required at casinos, Apr 1995
Game birds, emtryl - EC rules will ruin rearers of game birds, Jan 1996
Game birds – Farmers to be encouraged to mow land early resulting in “massacre” of game, May 1993
Game birds, wild game meat - Hunters to be required to carry a fridge and be accompanied by a vet, Jan 1993
Gin, round vs. square bottles – Gin to be sold in round bottles for the Single Market, Oct 1993
Global warming – ‘Open skies’ treaty threatens fight against global warming, Feb 2006
Gold – British hallmark for silver and gold to be replaced, March 1993
GPs see Doctors and GPs
Grimsby, fishy smell - EC Directive orders “fishy smell” to be contained, Jan 1994
H
Habeas Corpus – EU set to abandon habeas corpus, Nov 1998
Haddock, dye for – Commission outlaws dyes which give haddocks their distinctive golden hue, Jan 1993
Hairnets, fishermen – Commission to force fishermen to wear hair-nets, Oct 1992
Hallmarks – Hallmarks on jewellery, Mar 1998
Hallmarks – British hallmark for silver and gold to be replaced, Mar 1993
Hallmarks – “Made in Britain” label to be scrapped, Nov 2003
Hard hats – Circus performers must wear hard hats, Jul 2003
Hedgerows – Brussels to tear up hedgerows, Mar 2000
Herbal cures – Brussels to ban herbal cures, Mar 1999
Herbal medicines – License to be required to sell herbal medicines, Oct 1994
Herbal medicines – Update on whether license to be required to sell herbal medicines, Nov 1994
HGV drivers, driving licences and eye tests – HGV drivers not permitted to wear glasses, Feb 1996
History, teaching of – History programmes to be more euro-centric, Jul 1999
Holidays, package tours – Package tour firms may only be paid once customers have returned home, Nov 1993
Home-made produce, ingredients – Women’s Institute home-made produce requires full list of ingredients, Jun 2005
Home working, fire doors required – Self-employed home-workers must equip their houses with fire doors, Jun 1993
Horses, veterinary products – Horses to no longer receive medicine that would make them unsafe for consumption, Jan 1994
Hot-air balloons – Commission wasting hundreds of thousands on hot air balloons, Nov 1992
I
ID, European ID – European identity cards to be required by all EU citizens, Sep 1999
ID, required for gambling venues – ID required at casinos, Apr 1995
ID, requirements for opening bank accounts – Children to be prevented from opening bank accounts due to ID laws, Apr 1995
Immunity, Diplomatic – EU workers immune from law, Mar 2005
Island, definition of – Bureaucrats declare Britain is “not an island”, Jan 2003
J
Jets, low-flying – MOD to be forced to pay compensation for military jet noise pollution, Dec 1995
Journalism, and data protection – Data protection laws to “kill-off” investigative journalism, Oct 1993
Justice (see also European Court of Human Rights)
Justice, habeas corpus – EU set to abandon habeas corpus. Nov 1998
Justice, sentencing – EU to scrap life sentence, Oct 2004
Justice, wigs – Traditional barristers wig to be scrapped, Apr 2002
K
Kent, county of - Kent now part of France, Sep 2006
L
Labelling - Row over Latin labels, May 1999
Lamp posts – EC to replace traditional street lamps, Jun 1993
Leeks – Leek sizes to be standardised by EU, Mar 2002
Library, Commission - EC library to cost £2,138 for every book borrowed, Feb 2005
Licence fees, broadcasting – EC planning to ban license fees as “state aids”, Sep 1994
Licence plates, motor vehicles – Commission to push for euro-wide licence plate, Oct 1994
License plates – Brussels to ban British emblems on licence plates, Aug 1999
Life sentencing – EU to scrap life sentence, Oct 2004
Light ale – What’s in a name, May 2005
Light bulbs – Light bulbs lose wattage marking, May 2009
Listeria – Hysteria about listeria, Feb 1995
Lollipop ladies – EU to ban lollipop ladies’ sticks, Jul 1999
Lollipop signs – Lollipop signs to receive European wide harmonised design, Jun 1995
Lorries – New EU rules will wipe out 17,000 lorry firms, Jun 1998
M
Maps – No EU plans to abolish Britain!, Apr 2008
Maps – Kent now part of France, Sep 2006
Maps, UK - EU redraws map of the UK, Apr 1999
Maps – Bureaucrats declare Britain is “not an island”, Jan 2003
Maps, London – Trafalgar Square and Waterloo station to be renamed, Oct 2003
Meat, pork chops – Pork chops can no longer be sold with kidneys, Feb 1993
Meat, rare, in restaurants – Rare meat to be banned due to “too much bacteria”, Sep 1993
Meat products, hygiene standards – Local meat products under threat from new EC Health Directives, Jan 1993
Medical kits, for fishing boats – Small inshore fishing boats to be forced to carry extensive medical kits, Dec 1994
Medicines (see also Veterinary products)
Medicines, herbal – License to be required to sell herbal medicines, Oct 1994
Medicines, herbal – Update on whether license to be required to sell herbal medicines, Nov 1994
Medicines, labelling – Medicines to receive Latin labelling, May 1999
Medicines, use of human medicines on animals – Human medicines to be forbidden for use on animals, Feb/Mar 1995
Metrication – Brussels drive to rob us of British identity, June 2010
Metrication – EU imposes metric measurements on UK, Jan 2001
Metrication – Pinta and loaf packaging under threat, Jan 2006
Metrication, acres - Acres are outlawed by Brussels, Jul 2008
Metrication, sale of mixed drink pints – EU to ban sales of mixed drink pints in pubs, Nov 1994
Metrication, weighing instruments – Delicacies must be sold in quantities over one and a quarter pounds, Feb 1995
Metrication, wine sales – Wine must be served in government stamped glasses by standard quantities, Dec 1994
Migration – Outrage as EU stitch Brits up over migrants, Jun 2003
Military, army vehicles – Army to be forced to upgrade trailers in line with EU Directive, Jun 2005
Milk, bottles – EU to ban glass milk bottles, Jul 2001
Milk, butter - Traditional brandy butter to be banned, Jun 1998
Milk, doorstep pint – Open air floats and glass bottles to face ban under hygiene laws, Mar 1993
Milk, jugs - Euro meddlers rule we can’t have milk jugs, Feb 2010
Milk, milk-rounds – Children will be banned from milk-rounds due to EU directive, Aug 1998
Milk, soya – Soya milk indistinguishable from cow milk and thus to be banned, April 1995
Milk, yoghurt – EU plans to rename yogurt, Nov 2003
Mince pies – EU to rename mince pies, Oct 2002
Model railways – Model railways under threat from EU, May 2002
Money laundering – Children to be prevented from opening bank accounts due to ID laws, Apr 1995
Money laundering - ID required at casinos, Apr 1995
Mother Christmas outfits – Politically correct Eurocrats say Santa must be a woman, Oct 2001
Motor vehicles, bull bars – EU halting British move to ban bull bars, Apr 1995
Motor vehicles, car washing – EC to demand petrol interceptors in drains or ban car washing, Nov 1993
Motor vehicles, licence plates – Commission to push for euro-wide licence plate, Oct 1994
Motor vehicles, MOT tests – British MOT tests to be made less stringent, Apr 1994
Motor vehicles, trailers – Army to be forced to upgrade trailers in line with EU Directive, Jun 2005
Motorway parapets – Councils required to upgrade motorway parapets, Feb 1994
Mountaineering see Climbers; Rescue services
Mountains, signs – “High up” signs to be put on mountains, Mar 2004
Murderers, release dates – Compulsory release dates for murderers, Mar 1994
Mushy peas – Commission to outlaw mushy peas, Aug 1995
Mushrooms – EU rule may cut mushroom jobs, Aug 1998
Mussels – Shellfish must be given rest breaks whilst on journeys, Jan 1996
Mustard, French - EU axes French mustard, Apr 2001
N
News channel, Euro – European news network and soap opera authorised by EC, Jun 1993
Newspaper delivery, by young people – Young people forced to give up paper rounds, Nov 1992
Newspapers, VAT – UK government forced to abolish zero rate VAT in books and newspapers, Mar 1993
Noise pollution, bagpipes - EU safety directives to ban playgrounds, trapeze artists and bagpipes, Aug 2005
Noise pollution, bagpipes – Bagpipes to be quietened by an edict from Brussels, Apr 2008
Noise pollution, Cannons – 21-gun salutes to be muffled, Mar 2006
Noise pollution, church bells – Village church bells silenced by EU, Oct 2002
Noise pollution, low-flying jets - MOD to be forced to pay compensation for military jet noise pollution, Dec 1995
Noise pollution, night clubs and pubs – Noise regulations to require club, pub and football goers to wear earplugs, Mar 2002
Noise pollution, toys – EC to ban noisy toys, Jan 1996
Noise pollution, earmuffs at work - EU to enforce earmuff ruling, Jan 2002
Number plates – Brussels imposes EU flag on car number plates, Aug 1998
Nurses, traditional belts and buckles – Nurses uniform to be dictated by Brussels, Oct 1996
O
Oak trees – EU to prevent the sale of English oak seeds, Nov 1994
Off-licenses – EU to ban British off-licenses, Feb 2005
Oil – EU to seize UK oil stock, May 2003
Olympics - EU funds Athens Olympics rescue, Apr 2004
Origin marking – “Made in Britain” labels to be axed, Jan 2004
Ovens, wood burning – Brussels to ban wood burning ovens, Dec 1999
P
Package tours, passenger transport – EC regulations forbid the carrying of British passengers, Nov 1992
Packaging – Pinta and loaf packing under threat from EU, Jan 2006
Paddling pools – Paddling pools deeper than 12 inches must have full-time lifeguard, Jan 1993
Passports – European passport will replace national passports, Oct 2000
Passports – Her Majesty to be removed from UK passports, Sep 2007
Pasta – Fresh pasta banned, Apr 2002
Peaches – Eurocrats to ban small fruits, Jul 2001
Peas, mushy – Commission to outlaw mushy peas, Aug 1995
Petrol stations, control of petrol storage emissions – Hundreds of small petrol stations to be forced to meet new Vapour regulations, Feb 1993
Petrol stations, use of jerrycans – EC legislation forbids the use of jerrycans on garage forecourts, Apr 1993
Pets, dead – Dead pets must be pressure cooked before burial, Mar 2000
Phones, poll tax (see also Telephone enquiries)
Phone tax - Commission to tax every phone line £30, Sep 2000
Pies, mince – EU to rename mince pies, Oct 2002
Pigs, toys - Farmers forced to issue pigs with toys, Jan 2003
Pine trees, rosin – Rosin to be banned from use in products, Apr 1995
Pints, legality of sale in pubs – EU to ban sales of mixed drink pints in pubs, Nov 1994
Pizza ovens – Wood burning ovens to be banned, Dec 1999
Pizza, sizes - EU to regulate pizza sizes, Oct 1994
Place names – EU to rename UK place names, Oct 2003
Planes, low flying jets – MOD to be forced to pay compensation for military jet noise pollution, Dec 1995
Plants – EU money wasted on plants and wildlife, Aug 2001
Plasma screen TVs – Banning plasma TVs, Jan 2009
Playgrounds, safety – EU safety directives to ban playgrounds, trapeze artists and bagpipes, Aug 2005
Playgrounds, safety – Safety rules force the closure of UK playgrounds, Oct 2003
Playgrounds, safety, speed limits - Speed limits to be enforced on children’s roundabouts, Oct 2004
Playgrounds, safety, swings - A village has to remove its swings due to safety rules, Jan 2003
Plugs, Euro-plugs – UK to be forced to adopt continental two pin plug, Jun 1994
Police, European – A European integrated police force to be implemented, Apr 2001
Political parties, canvassing and direct mail – Political parties to be banned from canvassing and advertising, Nov 1993
Political parties, funding – EU to fund the Labour and LibDems but not the Conservatives, Jan 2000
Poppies – Remembrance Day poppies to face VAT charge, Aug 2003
Pork chops - Pork chops can no longer be sold with kidneys, Feb 1993
Pornography – UK screens being flooded by pornography as a result of new EC directive, Jan 1993
Postcards, saucy seaside – EC to ban “sexist” saucy seaside postcards, Mar 1993
Potato prices – Potato prices set to soar due to bad crop and EU rules, Jan 1995
Prams, second hand – EC to prevent the sale of second hand prams, Jan 1993
Prawn cocktail crisps – EC to ban prawn cocktail crisps, Jan 1993
Prison release dates – EU rules on compulsory release dates for murderers, Mar 1994
Prizes – EU to ban prizes over 70k on prize shows, May 2003
Promotions – 2-for1 bargains to be banned, Sep 1999
Pubs, barmaids – EU health directive to prevent barmaids from showing cleavage, Aug 2005
Pubs, darts - Commission plans to outlaws darts in Pubs, Jun 1993
Pubs, language – You’re alright, love – The EU is not banning saying ‘love’ in pubs, Mar 2008
Pubs, noise – Noise regulations to require club, pub and football goers to wear earplugs, Mar 2002
Pubs, price list display – EC planning to make British pubs display their price lists, Jul 1993
Pubs, sale of cigars - Sales of cigars to fall due to be sold individually with a health warning, Jan 1994
Pubs, sale of pints – EU to ban sales of mixed drink pints in pubs, Nov 1994
Q
The Queen, dogs – Queen’s corgis to be outlawed – Apr 2002
Queen, tea – Queen to be forced to get her own tea, Feb 1999
R
Recycling - Sex toys must be handed in, Feb 2004
Refugees – Misunderstanding between EU and UN asylum laws, Feb 2000
Regional governments – Veil is lifted on new order for Britain, Dec 1998
Regions, covert governance - Brussels to bypass national governments via regions, Apr 1998
Regions, map – EU redraws map of the UK, Apr 1999
Regions, map – A Europe without the UK, Apr 1999
Regions, devolution – Devolution is an EU scam, Dec 1998
Remembrance Day, poppies – Remembrance Day poppies to face VAT charge, Aug 2003
Rescue services, mountains – New procurement rules threaten rescue teams, Mar 1995
Rescue services, emergency number – Britain to phase out 999 emergency number, Jan 2000
Restaurants, rare meat – Rare meat to be banned due to “too much bacteria”, Sep 1993
Rhubarb – British rhubarb must be straight, Jun 1996
Roads, motorway parapets – Councils required to upgrade motorway parapets, Feb 1994
Roads, numbers – Eurocrats change traditional road numbers, Sep 2001
Rocking horses – EU to ban rocking horses, Nov 2003
Roundabouts – Speed limits to be enforced on children’s roundabouts, Oct 2004
Royal Navy, Christmas puddings – EU bans wooden oars for stirring the Christmas Pudding, Nov 1992
S
Sausage – The infamous” euro-sausage” threatens British bangers, Jun 2001
Schools, lessons abroad for pupils – European secondary school pupils to spend a “free” year abroad, Apr 1993
Scooters – 10m scooters face axe in ‘cat’ call, Oct 1998
Scotch whisky – EC interference in whisky distilleries, Nov 1992
Scotch whisky – Scotch whisky must be handled as a dangerous chemical, Nov 1995
Seat belts, on coaches and buses – Britain powerless to introduce new seat belt laws without backing from the EC, Nov 1993
Sex - EU asks women about their sex lives, Nov 2007
Sex discrimination – EU to end deals on the golf course, Oct 2001
Sex toys – Women to be forced to hand in old sex toys, Feb 2004
Shandy – Brussels ban on pints of shandy, Jan 1999
Shellfish, cockles - Scores of foreign boats to invade Essex coast, Nov 1992
Shellfish – Cockle-traders to be forced to buy expensive steaming equipment, Feb 1993
Shellfish, mussels – Shellfish must be given rest breaks whilst on journeys, Jan 1996
Shellfish, whelks – Whelks have to be stored at an EC regulated temperature, Oct 1993
Shepherds’ crooks – Carved horns to be banned, Apr 2000
Shoes – EU anti-dumping measures lead to price hike, Apr 2000
Signs – “High up” signs to be put on mountains, Mar 2004
Silver (see also Hallmarks) - British hallmark for silver and gold to be replaced, Mar 1993
Silver Cross prams – EC to prevent the sale of second hand prams, Jan 1993
Single currency, health – The single currency can bring on depression, May 1999
Single currency, health – Nickel in euro coins will make you sick, Dec 2001
Single currency, health – Euro notes responsible for impotency, Mar 2002
Ski resorts, snow - EC to prevent skiing when depth of snow is less than 20 cm, Nov 1992
Slaughterhouses – EC hygiene rules force closure of abattoirs, Nov 1992
Smacking, ban of - EU Court may ban smacking, Jun 1998
Smell, research into – EU trying to quantify smell of British workers, Sep 1996
Smoking – EU ban on ciggie breaks? Just hot air, Jun 2007
Soap Opera, Euro – European news network and soap opera authorised by EC, Jun 1993
Soya milk – Soya milk indistinguishable from cow milk and thus to be banned, Apr 1995
Staff, pay and tax of EU civil servants – EC employees are over-paid and do not pay tax, March 1993
Staff, pensions – EU staff retire early with huge pensions, Aug 2005
Statistics, collection of intra-Community trade - Collection of intra-EC trade statistics to fall on businesses, Jan 1993
Steam trains, drivers – New safety legislation prevents drivers from operating steam trains, Jul 1994
Steam trains, miniature – Directive will ban boilers for miniature locomotives, May 2002
Strawberries – Strawberries must be oval, Mar 1998
Street lighting, brightness – EU regulations require brighter street lighting, Jan 1995
Street lighting, lamp posts – EC to replace traditional street lamps, Jun 1993
Street vendors, food hygiene – Street vendors face closure due to an EC food hygiene Directive, Nov 1992
Students, lessons abroad for – European secondary school pupils to spend a “free” year abroad, Apr 1993
Subsidiarity, prize for definition of – President of EC offers prize for definition of the term “subsidiarity”, Oct 1993
Suntans, barmaids – EU health directive to prevent barmaids from showing cleavage, Nov 2005
Suntan, Commissioner – EU to get a “Suntan Commissioner”, Jun 2005
Sweets, advertising – Swedish Presidency will force a ban on sweet and toy ads, Feb 1999
Sweets, unwrapped – Brussels to forbid unwrapped sweets, Aug 1993
Swimming pools, safety standards – Paddling pools deeper than 12 inches must have full-time lifeguard, Jan 1993
Swings - A village has to remove its swings due to safety rules, Jan 2003
T
Tax harmonisation, sovereignty – Tax harmonisation programme will remove all tax powers from member states, Nov 1998
Tax harmonisation, Germanophobia – German finance ministers can abolish UK tax veto, Dec 1998
Tax, phones – Brussels to tax every phone line £30, Sep 2000
Taxi services – London to face an influx of untrained taxi drivers, Jan 1993
Tea, teabags – EU to make recycling teabags illegal, Jan 2005
Tea, teasmades – Teasmades to be forbidden under new safety regulation, Feb 2002
Teeth – Now Brussels make bright smiles illegal, Feb 2003
Telephone enquiries – Commission to blame for new 118 enquiry number, Nov 2003
Thatching, banning – EU aiming to ban thatched roofs, Oct 2004
Thatching, cost – EC to make thatching uneconomical, Apr 1993
Theatre seats – West End to be hit by new seat rules, Feb 2000
Tin cans – Queries over tin can standardisation, Mar 1993
Toilets – Euro-loo to replace British toilets, May 1999
Toilets – Traditional British toilet to be scrapped by Brussels, Apr 1995
Toys, advertising – Swedish Presidency will force a ban on sweet and toy ads, Feb 1999
Toys, imports of Chinese – Chinese toy imports are to be banned unless humanlike in form, Jul 1994
Toys, noisy – EC to ban noisy toys, Jan 1996
Toys, sale by charity shops – Charity shops banned from selling second hand toys, Mar 1993
Toys, sex – Women to be forced to hand in old sex toys, Feb 2004
Tractors – Tractors to be banned from soggy fields, Jan 2005
Tractors – Farmers given time-limit on tractor use, Oct 2002
Trade statistics, collection of intra-Community – Collection of intra-EC trade statistics to fall on businesses, Jan 1993
Trafalgar Square – Trafalgar Square and Waterloo station to be renamed, Oct 2003
Trailers – Army to be forced to upgrade trailers in line with EU Directive, Jun 2005
Truckers’ fry ups – EU bans lorry drivers’ British breakfast, Sep 2001
Trees see Oaks; Pine trees
Turkeys – EC to tamper with turkeys , Dec 1992
V
Valentine’s Day cards – Unwanted Valentine’s cards to be defined as sexual harassment, Apr 1995
VAT, books and newspapers – UK government forced to abolish zero rate VAT in books and newspapers, Mar 1993
VAT, children’s clothes – Euro tax on kids’ clothes – secret VAT stitch-up revealed, Nov 1998
VAT, church – EU to may churches pay full VAT, Sep 2003
VAT, control – British power over VAT rates to be abolished, Mar 2000
Vegetables see Fruit and vegetables
Veterinary products, game birds – EC rules will ruin rearers of game birds, Jan 1996
Veterinary products, horses – Horses to no longer receive medicine that would make them unsafe for consumption, Jan 1994
Victory Day – B17 fly pass grounded by Brussels, May 2005
Video recording and copyright – Copyright Tax to be levied on all home VCR recordings, Mar 2000
Vitamin supplements – EC to stop UK citizens taking extra strong multi-vitamin pills, Feb 1993
Vitamin supplements – EU to ban vitamin supplements, Mar 2002
Vocational training – EU gives £1m to train Italian TV presenter “bimbos”, Jul 2003
Voltage reduction – EU voltage harmonisation plan threatens British appliances, Feb 1995
Voting – EU may force UK to give criminals vote, Feb 2006
Vultures – EU rules blamed for vulture attacks on farm livestock, Aug 2007
W
Walnuts - Brussels rules threatens walnuts, Mar 2001
Waste disposal – EU law to create ‘Electrical mountain’, Mar 2002
Waste, excavated earth – Excavated earth to become waste, Mar 1995
Waste, food waste for swans, charities etc. – Feeding swans and homeless people to require licence, Feb 1994
Waterloo Station – Trafalgar Square and Waterloo station to be renamed, Oct 2003
Water meters – Every home to be fitted with costly water meter, Aug 2000
Wattage markings – Light bulbs lose wattage markings, May 2009
Weapons, sale of – Britain to be flooded with cheap weapons thanks to the Single Market, Jan 1993
Weighing instruments – Delicacies must be sold in quantities over one and a quarter pounds, Feb 1995
Wheat, for thatching straw (see also Thatching)
Wheat, for thatching straw – EC to make thatching uneconomical, Apr 1993
Whelks, storage temperature – Whelks have to be stored at an EC regulated temperature, Oct 1993
Whisky – EC interference in whisky distilleries, Nov 1992
Whisky – Scotch whisky must be handled as a dangerous chemical, Nov 1995
Wigs – Traditional barristers wig to be scrapped, Apr 2002
Wildlife – EU money wasted on plants and wildlife, Aug 2001
Wildlife parks, elephant symbol on signs – Universal symbol for zoos to be the image of an elephant, Jun 1993
Wine, labels, aristocratic titles on – EC to register aristocrats to check for improper labelling of wine, Oct 1993
Wine, size of glass – Wine must be served in government stamped glasses by standard quantities, Dec 1994
Women, doctors – Hundreds of GPs to be forced to acquire additional qualifications, Sep 1994
Women, saucy postcards – EC to ban “sexist” saucy seaside postcards, Mar 1993
Valentine’s Day cards – Unwanted Valentine’s cards to be defined as sexual harassment, Apr 1995
Wood burning ovens – Brussels to ban wood burning ovens, Dec 1999
Worker consultation – Bosses to be told what carpet to buy, Jan 2004
Working conditions – EU meddlers ban kids on milk rounds, Aug 1998
Working from home, fire doors – Self-employed home-workers must equip their houses with fire doors, Jun 1993
Working Time Directive, doctors – 58 hour working week will ground hospitals to a halt, Aug 2004
Working Time Directive, doctors – UK doctors unable to treat off shore patients at night, Feb 1999
Workplace, rules – Companies required to consult staff on colour of carpets and types of tea bags, Jan 2004
Y
Yoghurt – EU plans to rename yogurt, Nov 2003
Yoghurt – EU says Brit yoghurt has to be called Fermented Milk Pudding, Mar 2006
Yoghurt – £700,000 to stop yoghurt going runny, Jan 1999
Young people, milk-rounds – Children will be banned from milk-rounds due to EU directive, Aug 1998
Young people, newspaper delivery – Young people forced to give up paper rounds, Nov 1992
Youth in Action - EU youth programme called propaganda, Oct 2006
Z
Zips – EU plans to ban zipper trousers, May 1999
Zoos, elephant symbol on signs – Universal symbol for zoos to be the image of an elephant, Jun 1993
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